Boggle!

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Fri, 24 May 2013 11:05:01 +0800

To be honest, I think anger is really healthy in situations like...

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:18:00 +0800

To be honest, I think anger is really healthy in situations like this. It is so easy to turn your negative feelings about your assault inwards. Society will push as hard as it can to make you blame yourself. Maybe moving past your anger will be a part of your healing, but until you’re ready to take that step—and you don’t have to be, ever, if you don’t want that—I think it’s much better to keep your negative feelings fixed outwards, on your attacker, where they belong.

It is not fair that you are the one who has to cull your social circle after what’s happened, but making this public means putting your suffering on display in a way you maybe really don’t want to, and opening yourself up to be doubted and judged, and you have every right to choose not to go through that. I support you and believe you no matter what.

What you went through was awful, anon, and I’m so sorry...

Mon, 13 May 2013 04:58:34 +0800

What you went through was awful, anon, and I’m so sorry you had to suffer like that. Working through your feelings about your abuser is almost definitely going to be a part of your recovery. But it’s what you believe that I think makes you feel depressed, not what one abusive person used to tell you. Good luck.

My best guess is that if people are telling you, in a critical...

Thu, 09 May 2013 02:14:48 +0800

My best guess is that if people are telling you, in a critical way, that you say ‘stupid things,’ they probably mean that you have a tendency to speak before you think, and that you are sometimes rude, or maybe just a little annoying, as a result. That is a good behavior to correct! I am sure you don’t mean to do it. Maybe these people could be a little more polite in how they express their criticism, but honestly, there are more important things than politeness. So long as they are not being unfair or abusive, I think it is pretty much always better to focus on your own behavior than on the behavior of others, when they are trying to tell you that you have done something wrong.

Dear Boggle. Thank you. I'm the anon from yesterday, and I'm sorry. I'm not really sure what it was that stopped me, perhaps my dog scratching on the door, but I'm glad I didn't go through with it. Please, can I ask your forgiveness? I'm so terribly sorry, and once again, Thank you. Thank you, and all those who gave their support.

Tue, 07 May 2013 15:29:00 +0800

Oh my gosh, anon, I’m just so happy that you’re okay! Thank you so much for getting in touch with me! I’ve been so worried! You don’t need to apologize, I am not upset with you! Just please please know that last night there were a whole lot of people who cared if you were okay!

Please call a family member, or a friend, or a therapist, and let them know that you need help! I don’t want anything bad to happen to you!

Anon, I am going to be right here, at my computer, for hours and...

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:55:00 +0800

Anon, I am going to be right here, at my computer, for hours and hours. If you want to talk to somebody, I am not going anywhere. I do not have a whole lot to offer other than owls and my stone-cold faith in you, but I hope both of these things will reach you before it’s too late.

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Thu, 02 May 2013 00:42:58 +0800

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Sat, 13 Apr 2013 21:49:26 +0800

I was wondering... why is boggle a boy, when you are a girl?

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 22:34:00 +0800

I’ve actually never had Boggle sexed. Don’t you need to do a blood test, for owls? Maybe Boggle isn’t a boy. I don’t think Boggle really thinks about that sort of thing.

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Sun, 24 Mar 2013 09:36:01 +0800

Hi Boggle! I wanted to let you know (and sort of retroactively ask permission...whoops) that I printed out your, "All I'm doing is handing out sticks, you're the one staying alive," post for a friend of mine who is always apologizing for calling me when she's suicidal, because it perfectly encapsulates how I feel. It hangs on her wall and she looks at it and calls me instead of killing herself. Thank you. <3

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 08:55:36 +0800

I get a lot of messages like this, so I just want to make a blanket statement that, so long as you’re not making money by doing it, I am always completely okay with any of you reproducing Boggle. It makes me really happy to hear that you have printed him out and put him on your wall, or put the time and materials into making a stuffed Boggle for a friend, or made a bracelet charm of Boggle to help get you through the day! Boggle is supposed to be here for you all, and I am really touched and delighted whenever anybody takes him off the internet and helps him get out into the real world in order to do that! If you are giving out Boggle-things to more than just a handful of your close friends or family, I might ask that you include a little slip of paper with Boggle’s URL when you do? But that is all. Charging for the cost of materials is a little more of a grey area for me, but I know how expensive crafting can be, so if you need to do it, then all I ask is that you do it in a generous spirit.

Anon, I am so relieved that you have found something to help your friend while she goes through such a hard time, and I am really humbled and honored that that thing is Boggle.

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Fri, 22 Mar 2013 05:15:25 +0800

Rebloggable by request!

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 04:46:46 +0800

Rebloggable by request!

That is not “not very much at all!” When...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 04:43:05 +0800

That is not “not very much at all!” When you’re struggling with depression, that can be a heroic effort! You did right by yourself even on a bad day, and that is something to really be proud of!

I have pretty bad anxiety. So when unexpected things pop up in everyday life, I tend to have a hard time, and I stress myself out because I feel overwhelmed, and its hard for me to keep up. I have a little planner, and for a while I've been keeping a schedule of what I need to do. Even simple things like work, going to the store, or reminding myself to rest when I don't feel well. I have much less anxiety now, even by doing such a seemingly simple thing. Simple things help so much.

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 12:08:18 +0800

I thought this was a really nice message and might be helpful to some of you out there today!

It works this way for everybody, anon, depressed or otherwise!...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 11:19:43 +0800

It works this way for everybody, anon, depressed or otherwise! Please don’t lose heart!

Recovery

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 15:55:00 +0800

Expectation: I feel a little bit better today!
Expectation: I feel a little bit better today!
Expectation: I feel a little bit better today!
Expectation: Hey, I think I feel pretty good!
Expectation: I guess that means I'm normal now! Time to go live a normal life!
---------------------------------
Reality: I feel terrible.
Reality: I still feel terrible.
Reality: Is this seriously "recovery?" This sucks.
Reality: I don't want to be thinking about all of this shit, this is exhausting.
Reality: I guess today's not so bad.
Reality: Today is bad again.
Reality: Today is bad, but I think I'm starting to understand why.
Reality: Wow, how long has it been since I cleaned my room?
Reality: Cleaning my room didn't make me feel any better, but hey, room's clean.
Reality: Whoa, okay, I need a shower. And maybe a haircut? Definitely a haircut.
Reality: Everything sucks.
Reality: Okay, except you.
Reality: And you too, I didn't mean that you sucked.
Reality: And that thing that I like is pretty cool.
Reality: What was I talking about?
Reality: Oh, THAT'S why my ex broke up with me.
Reality: Wow, it turns out that was totally my fault?
Reality: I was the jackass.
Reality: Holy shit, I am such a jackass.
Reality: Everybody must hate me.
Reality: EVERYBODY HATES ME.
Reality: Okay, how could everybody hate me? I mean, even if I'm a jackass, the Law of Averages dictates that SOMEBODY out there would probably like me anyway.
Reality: Why would everybody hate me anyway, I'm awesome.
Reality: ...I'm not that awesome.
Reality: Sometimes I'm pretty awesome, though.
Reality: OH MY GOD I HATE MYSELF
Reality: WHAT IS THIS, I'M RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED
Reality: EVERYTHING SUCKS, THE WORLD SUCKS, I SUCK, NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE ME AND I WILL DIE UNMOURNED AND ALONE
Reality: ...What the hell was that about?
Reality: Anyway, gonna get stuff done.
Reality: Gonna get stuff done
Reality: Getting stuff done
Reality: WHY DO I FAIL AT EVERYTHING
Reality: WALLOWING
Reality: WALLOWING SOME MORE
Reality: Okay NO MORE WALLOWING, we've talked about this, we're not doing this right now.
Reality: ...I can't believe that worked.
Reality: Huh.
Reality: So hang on, is this it?
Reality: I mean, is this recovery? Am I doing this right? Is it going to be over soon?
Reality: I just want to be normal.
Reality: I am such a ridiculous trainwreck of a human being. How do I even exist? Why do I get to have friends? Why do you people talk to me? There's so much about myself that I really don't like, and there's probably even more stuff that I don't even know about that isn't too hot, either. And I'm working on it, but man, it's hard.
Reality: ...I just realized that everything I just said is normal.
Reality: Oh my God, am I already normal?
Reality: I'M ALREADY NORMAL. THIS IS NORMAL.
Reality: It's...not exactly everything I was hoping for, to tell you the truth.
Reality: ...Oh well.
Reality: Today was okay.
Reality: Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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Wed, 27 Feb 2013 08:22:16 +0800

The thing is, so many depressed people secretly think this way....

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 17:47:00 +0800

The thing is, so many depressed people secretly think this way. It’s a depression mind trick that keeps so many people who need help from seeking it out. I just hope drawing attention to it here, where it’s so clearly stated, might help a few people spot the contradiction in their own minds. Anon, please go get help. Your problems are obviously not insignificant.

Boggle, I finally did it. After 7 years, I am finally seeking help with all my trauma. My doctor diagnosed me with PTSD and is helping me come to terms about what happened. I don't know if I'll ever be "normal" or if I will ever need meds but I am taking the first steps to recovery and acceptance. It's still very frightening to go in and talk to my doctor but I'm so happy that I've done it. Thank you Boggle. Thank you so much!

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 02:55:08 +0800

You are already a “normal” person. Millions of other normal people struggle with PTSD, trauma, anxiety and depression every day. Having these problems doesn’t make you a freak, and it doesn’t give you anything to be ashamed of. And you are confronting your problems, and dealing with them, and working hard to overcome them, which I think makes you very brave!

I am proud of you! Stick with it! Recovery is hard and scary, but we are all cheering for you!