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To be honest, I think anger is really healthy in situations like this. It is so easy to turn your negative feelings about your assault inwards. Society will push as hard as it can to make you blame yourself. Maybe moving past your anger will be a part of your healing, but until you’re ready to take that step—and you don’t have to be, ever, if you don’t want that—I think it’s much better to keep your negative feelings fixed outwards, on your attacker, where they belong.
It is not fair that you are the one who has to cull your social circle after what’s happened, but making this public means putting your suffering on display in a way you maybe really don’t want to, and opening yourself up to be doubted and judged, and you have every right to choose not to go through that. I support you and believe you no matter what.
What you went through was awful, anon, and I’m so sorry you had to suffer like that. Working through your feelings about your abuser is almost definitely going to be a part of your recovery. But it’s what you believe that I think makes you feel depressed, not what one abusive person used to tell you. Good luck.
My best guess is that if people are telling you, in a critical way, that you say ‘stupid things,’ they probably mean that you have a tendency to speak before you think, and that you are sometimes rude, or maybe just a little annoying, as a result. That is a good behavior to correct! I am sure you don’t mean to do it. Maybe these people could be a little more polite in how they express their criticism, but honestly, there are more important things than politeness. So long as they are not being unfair or abusive, I think it is pretty much always better to focus on your own behavior than on the behavior of others, when they are trying to tell you that you have done something wrong.
Dear Boggle. Thank you. I'm the anon from yesterday, and I'm sorry. I'm not really sure what it was that stopped me, perhaps my dog scratching on the door, but I'm glad I didn't go through with it. Please, can I ask your forgiveness? I'm so terribly sorry, and once again, Thank you. Thank you, and all those who gave their support.
Oh my gosh, anon, I’m just so happy that you’re okay! Thank you so much for getting in touch with me! I’ve been so worried! You don’t need to apologize, I am not upset with you! Just please please know that last night there were a whole lot of people who cared if you were okay!
Please call a family member, or a friend, or a therapist, and let them know that you need help! I don’t want anything bad to happen to you!
Anon, I am going to be right here, at my computer, for hours and hours. If you want to talk to somebody, I am not going anywhere. I do not have a whole lot to offer other than owls and my stone-cold faith in you, but I hope both of these things will reach you before it’s too late.
I was wondering... why is boggle a boy, when you are a girl?
I’ve actually never had Boggle sexed. Don’t you need to do a blood test, for owls? Maybe Boggle isn’t a boy. I don’t think Boggle really thinks about that sort of thing.
Hi Boggle! I wanted to let you know (and sort of retroactively ask permission...whoops) that I printed out your, "All I'm doing is handing out sticks, you're the one staying alive," post for a friend of mine who is always apologizing for calling me when she's suicidal, because it perfectly encapsulates how I feel. It hangs on her wall and she looks at it and calls me instead of killing herself. Thank you. <3
I get a lot of messages like this, so I just want to make a blanket statement that, so long as you’re not making money by doing it, I am always completely okay with any of you reproducing Boggle. It makes me really happy to hear that you have printed him out and put him on your wall, or put the time and materials into making a stuffed Boggle for a friend, or made a bracelet charm of Boggle to help get you through the day! Boggle is supposed to be here for you all, and I am really touched and delighted whenever anybody takes him off the internet and helps him get out into the real world in order to do that! If you are giving out Boggle-things to more than just a handful of your close friends or family, I might ask that you include a little slip of paper with Boggle’s URL when you do? But that is all. Charging for the cost of materials is a little more of a grey area for me, but I know how expensive crafting can be, so if you need to do it, then all I ask is that you do it in a generous spirit.
Anon, I am so relieved that you have found something to help your friend while she goes through such a hard time, and I am really humbled and honored that that thing is Boggle.
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