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Hi there Boggle, I'm Ralph from Daytona, FL. I have screwed up big time, I have turned people who were my friends away from me because of my behaviors. I regret the way I acted, but it's too late, I feel like they all hate me. I've never felt so hopeless. :( Are there any words AT ALL that you could give me to perk myself up and give me hope? Please write back if so. Take your time, being an owl is hard, I'm sure, but I look forward to your response.
I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can say to make this feeling go away. Regret is just a part of having a conscience. Although it doesn’t really help to hear it, I am proud of you.
I am sure you have apologized and tried to make amends. It sounds like you are scared that you won’t be able to fix the trust you broke no matter what you do. That is a miserable feeling, and I am very sad to say that it might be true.
I know you are a good person, and I know you deserve to have friends. But it is possible that you won’t get to have THESE friends anymore. Maybe some or even all of them will forgive you, with time. But if you are already doing everything you can to make things right, then whether or not they let you back into their lives is up to them. The sad fact is that you don’t always get to fix the things you break.
You will know lots of people in your life, and have lots of chances to get things right. Whether these friends forgive you or not, I know you will have people in your life who love you again. And I know that you will treat them with more care. I don’t know how to make you feel better right now, and I don’t even know if that’s wise. But if this feeling weren’t so awful, it wouldn’t be strong enough to make us change.
Take care of yourself out there.
Boggle are you there?
Yes, I am here! I am still reading all of your messages! I got a bunch of new ones all at once over the last two days, did I get linked from somewhere? I am working very hard on getting back into the right frame of mind to be able to update again, and I hope it will be very soon! I have been doing much better over the last week or two. Until then, I am thinking about you guys and this blog every day! Thank you all so much for your kind patience!
A personal post, as I get ready to start updating regularly again. I hope that sharing this will help some of you out there, struggling with similar things.
Boggle, my girlfriend went to the doctor and is finally on antidepressants! We have yet to see how they'll affect her, but this is such a step in the right direction, and I'm so proud of her for being brave enough to go!!!
That is such great news, anon! Please give her all my best wishes! She is SO brave for pushing through her fear and depression and getting herself on the path to treatment! Big cheers from all of us, and good for you for supporting her like this!
What is boggle the owl
I am not sure I understand the question, so here is a Boggle-owl getting ready for bath time. I hope this will suffice, since I can’t make a proper answer.
So, I suffer from intense self loathing thoughts due to low self esteem, depression, anxiety—I’ve got PTSD, a mood disorder, the whole nine yards. I frequently tear myself apart with thoughts about how much I suck, how I shouldn’t try to be creative, or try to make friends, because I’m worthless. Sometimes I even tell myself that I shouldn’t exist.
But the fact is this is all bullshit.
Here’s what I’ve started doing: I think of all those depressive, hateful, cruel, self-loathing thoughts as anon hate. Yes. I imagine it as literally someone using the anonymous ask function to tear me down and I imagine myself responding to it with sass and a whole shit-ton of self confidence. If that’s hard to imagine sometimes, I think of someone I admire doing it.
Look at that shit. That is often what my thoughts sound like, and I’m sure many other people experience the same thing. Now look at the response. Doesn’t it feel fucking awesome to just flip off someone who degraded you for no reason? Isn’t it hilarious to think up sassy, fabulous responses to assholes? It’s such a great feeling to realize that your self-loathing thoughts are not any truer than cowardly, unnecessarily cruel anonymous hate.
How would you feel if someone said what you say about yourself to one of your friends? Man, I would fucking take them down. Or at the very least, I would make sure the victim of these awful attacks knows that these things are baseless and stupid.
Depression makes us question our own self worth. It makes us degrade ourselves and worst of all, it makes us believe all the shitty things we tell ourselves are true.
Please recognize that this is part of the disease. It is not your fault.
I hope this helps someone else out there, because it sure as hell as helps me. Please take care of yourselves, everyone. ♥
So, I’ve never reblogged anyone else’s words here before. But there’s something very special about this person, at least to me. This is my friend Yui, and she’s the reason I invented Boggle. I wanted to cheer her up when she was having a really bad day, so I drew her a worried owl, and gave him a name that I thought might make her smile. She is a wonderful person, and I think this is wonderful advice.
I hope you guys are all doing okay today!
It's Dec. 2. It's been six weeks since your last post. Are you all right? Can I help YOU in some way?
You have all sent so many kind messages asking if I’m all right, I figure the least I can do is say something. For the past two months, I have been very, very depressed. I keep hoping it will break, and it hasn’t. I am talking to my doctor about adjusting my medication, but these things take time. My depression is treatment-resistant and I have struggled with it for over ten years. It never really goes away, but it is rarely as bad as this. We are having money problems, which is I think what has set this off. I am sorry I’ve been gone. I love running this blog, and I miss all of you. Boggle is the first thing I want to get back to when this weight lifts.
I guess this is sort of the trade-off you get for following a blog about mental illness from somebody who actually suffers from mental illness; I’m not always well enough to run the blog. I wish I could be more reliable for you all. I want to be there for you, and maybe make things feel a little bit brighter for you, even if things aren’t very bright for me right now.
I know, when I am doing better than this, that I believe in people, and life, and the chance of recovery, and—on my best days—even myself. And I know that depression is a state of delusion, so anything I think now that I don’t think when I’m feeling better is certainly untrue. But right now that is something I have to take on faith, and that faith is all I have. I am sorry I don’t have more to give you. I will be back the minute that I do.
I hope you’re taking care of yourselves out there.
Boggle, I just love your blog! I'm writing for my college newspaper. Would you mind if I wrote an article about it? (all good things, of course!) I just really believe more people should know about you!
Wow, that’s really cool of you! Of course, go ahead!
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